This year has taught us all many valuable lessons. Honestly, if you haven’t learned anything from this year then you may need to get your head out of the clouds. There has literally been destruction at almost every corner. Lives being lost due to a virus that not even scientists fully understand. Racial injustice being more visibly shown to the world and the world, for once, acting like they care about black people being tormented. Being separated from our loved ones, to protect them. To protect each other. The government handing out small portions and expecting us to grovel at their feet. Trump was out here…just being a hoe. It’s a lot that took place and much to unpack as we close one year and move into the next.
Here are a few things this year taught me.
You can’t expect people to check on you during a time when everyone’s lives have been altered or disrupted.
Is it great if they do? Absolutely. But I saw a post that explained how absolutely selfish and narcissistic it is of anyone to get upset because people aren’t religiously checking on them like they maybe once did. It’s a pandemic yall. People have had 1, 2 or maybe even 3 family members die during this time. Lost their job. Facing foreclosure on their home. Getting a divorce. You can’t be so selfish during a time when people are just fighting to make it day to day. If you feel some sort of way about it, then here is something check on them. This time is tough on everyone. Don’t sit in a corner and pout about someone not reaching out. Use some common sense here.
It’s ok to take a break. For your mind, body and soul.
Pre-pandemic, many of us were busy running around seizing the day every 5 seconds. Depleting every bit of energy we had to be the best this or the better that. Listen. This pandemic said SAT DOWN. Like someone’s granny at church who want the kids to sit they behinds down. And we had to just that. Sit down. Be with ourselves and reflect, rest and reset. And I’m not even mad about it. I started going back to therapy (which has been great btw) and while things are slowly picking back up, I’m not going to forget to give myself those days to recharge and realign. It’s needed if you wish for your productivity to be at a certain degree. Don’t be busy. Be productive.
Continue to surround yourself with phenomenal, dope, going places type of people
My circle is literally the best there is, to me. My girls are out here being fxckin amazing. Like, kilin the game. There is no room for mediocrity if I want to continue to have them around me and with me. And that’s how it should be. Your circle should constantly be pushing you to be better than the day before. Are we where we want to be right now? No. But are we where we were last year on today? Absolutely not. My sisters and close friends are OUT HERE. Doing it. BIG. And it makes me not even want to step to them with something unless it’s about some sort of elevation. Now, granted, I know the times we are living in. But as long as we are alive and have perfectly good oxygen in our lungs. We will get it done. By any means. And that’s what you need around you. People who will acknowledge reality but also remind you that you shape your own, at the end of the day. Shape it into something you wish to live in.
Being a mother and a woman can be and are 2 separate things.
This was my first full year as a mom and I have to tell you, there were so many different battles I faced. There is mom guilt (yes, that’s a real thing) and then missing who you were and what life was like before your little one. No one ever discusses that and if they do, it’s to make you feel bad. Which is stupid. Moms, you are allowed to miss your life pre-baby. It made me realize though, that I need to create a clear divide between between the two or else the lines will become blurred and even I won’t know where one ends and another begins. I am a mother, yes. But before that, I was a woman. A woman who was not afraid to be herself. Who didn’t sum up respect as a way of dressing, thinking or behaving. I wasn’t afraid to just..be. Then I had a child and it felt like that changed. Like I became more self conscious about things I did or said and ya know…it was a pretty uncomfortable space because I wasn’t being true to myself. Social anxiety set in, all of that y’all. So don’t force or fight yourself on it. You are allowed to be both, simultaneously. Forget those that have a colorful opinion about it. They probably miserable anyways.
Loving myself never felt so good.
I have been single this whole year. Like, legit. I tested the waters with one guy but it didn’t get beyond a certain point. And honestly, this is the first time in a long time that I’ve been single and content. If someone wants to date me at this point, they gotta come with it cause my list of standards has changed drastically (for the better) and I’m so cool with me..like why involve someone else right now? I used to have a feeling of loneliness hover over me. Now, I’m completely fine in the space I’ve been in. I feel you tho future husband. Hurry up before I get too comfy being single. Also, not rushing it tho. Loving myself for the first time ever has been beautiful.
I am thankful and blessed to be able to have made it to the last day of 2020. So many did not and for that alone, we should be thankful. Continue to be great moving into the new year. Continue to do everything in love with light leading and guiding you. You are Gods love, in human form. Remember that as you move throughout your days. Good riddens 2020. But we needed you to teach us these valuable lessons. Let’s see what 2021 has in store ❤️